Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I will listen to the warning signs next time

Despite the alarm bells going off in my head and the red flashing lights warning me not to, I decided to go the mega store that rhymes with Mall Fart tonight. I realize that I am a socially irresponsible a-hole for ever stepping foot into that store and can think of at least one blog reader who will personally punch me in the face for having admitted to as much (Be gentle with me Er-ca, I'm tender. And juicy!) .

My reason for shopping there is that they are the only store with decent generic pull ups to avoid The Princesses. Do you smell the irony? I can only SAVE my daughter from evil corporations by purchasing products FROM evil corporations. Yeah. I am dizzy from the head spinning too.

The one great thing about that store is that you get a slice of Americana that you can find no where else. There are, of course, normal folks like me, just trying to grab their shit and get the hell out of there as fast as possible. But, there are also major cultural phenomenon that could easily be missed. For example, I counted exactly nine women wearing athletic socks with flip flops, I had no idea that was even an option! I also saw a man with three teeth and a Michael Vick jersey on commenting to his buddy about how "Sheeet, mann, this place is really ghetto."

Really ghetto indeed.


Blogger melodyann said...

Everyone who is anyone knows that only oriental women should wear socks with their flip-flops.

On anyone else it just looks stoo-pid.

3:33 AM  
Blogger LIBSMOM said...

I just can't do the Wal@#$% thing. I think I'd put the girls in boys pullups before I'd brave that hell.
Actually, you deserve a medal for even going in there!

5:24 AM  
Blogger Tootsie said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:28 AM  
Blogger Tootsie said...

Whenever the hubs and I are in a small town down here in the South, we love to go to Wa1mart and check out the "local color." It's always horribly awesome.

6:30 AM  
Blogger MomSmoo said...

OMG!!! LMAO here. Yeah, our county tried banning the big W, but it didn't work. I hate that place, but it is a necessary evil -- esp for nursing bras? Ever try theirs? Seriously it is worth the trip to the evil corporate empire!

6:57 AM  
Blogger *~*Cece*~* said...

Our Mall Fart is ghetto, too. What I'd like to know is the location of that NICE Mall Fart they show on TV because I KNOW that's not 'round here!

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok Kird only you will truly appreciate this because you know me so well...but I to, believe it or not, braved the Walmart. (although I prefer Target) Here is the thing, normallly I think that I am a fairly high "falootin'" gal however this particular day I had just finished a painting project, washing my dogs and some yard work. I had NO make up, my hair was in a poneytail (well sort of falling out of a poneytail) I was wearing sweats that were circa 1985 with holes and stains, and a tee shirt w/ NO bra..Now that the scene is set I was shopping, went up to check out and had that thought we all share, God this place is WHITE TRASH, disgustedly I put my wallet away after purchasing and walked towards the exit where I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the automatic door and realized that indeed this day I WAS THE WHITE don't we all have our Walmart moments :-) Luv ya Devin

9:08 AM  
Blogger Dawn B said...

Oh my god my stomach huuuurts..
As much as I heart Mall Fart too, I just can't go in there anymore. I'm not even gonna lie, I'd rather go to Target simply because the isles are bigger and you can cram more people in them without many issues.

11:46 AM  
Blogger Mrs. G. said...

There was a time in my life, newly married and pregnant, when most of our furniture was from Walmart. Nothing like the smell of pressboard in the morning. I swore, when we left the south, that I would never darken the door of that store again. And as God is my witness, I never have. Yuck. Funny post.

4:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I will be gentle with you! I love that you mentioned you are "juicy"!

The comment about flip flops and athletic socks....Peed myself!

I will forgive thee.... I do understand about the "princess pannies" ...But If It were me...I think I would have put a Maxi Pad in the El' WINCO Pull up before I would have trucked to Mall Fart!

I still love you!

9:54 PM  
Blogger Jill said...

I want to wear sweat socks with flip flops!! I guess you have to give yourself a major toe wedgie to do it!!

4:42 PM  
Blogger lildb said...

a) you kill me.

b) nu-uh, dude! whole foods has AWESOME generic pull-ups, and they go up to size L. in adult. but seriously, they are great, they are hypo-allergenic, and they are CHEAP. on the real, yo. they're cheaper than the brand-namers.

coffee sometime in the next month? if neither of us dies from lack of kitchen?


11:57 PM  

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