Thursday, October 04, 2007

The Last Time I am Putting Myself Through That

Roob is sick. Or rather I should say, Roob is still sick. Two weeks ago she was acting funny so I had someone check her out and they were all "seriously lady, we have never seen a healthier child. You are crazy. Or possibly suffering from Munchhausen by Proxy. Either way, get out of here and make room for the sick children."

The acting funny progressed into a cold, with all the trimmings. Snot, fever, coughing, pathetic whimpering and shrill screaming. Today I had reached my breaking point. I again took her in where it was determined: HEAD COLD. What kind of herculean virus has this baby got? It is certainly bigger than the both of us and it is threatening to take my last shred of sanity.

While we were at the doctor's office it was a rather odd exam because I was clutching the naked baby after taking her out of the sling where I made the unfortunate discovery that we had grown a new umbilical cord made of snot that was connecting her face to my shirt. Lovely. As I was clutching the naked baby, Goldie figured out how to get out of the exam room and she made a run for it. I tossed the baby at the doc and sprinted out of there just in time to see the wee troublemaker dash into another drs. office. I zigged when I should have zagged and she escaped my grasp as I lunged at her, but finally caught her when she paused in front of the bathroom trying to determine if she was looking at a BOYS! potty or not.

After resuming naked baby clutching and positioning myself against the door to keep my little escape artist on the inside, the doc resumed the exam and determined that there was, in fact, nothing she could do for me, but gee that cough really sounds nasty. Thank you. I am so glad that I put myself through this.

Unless there is blood or verifiable death, my children are never going to the doctor again.


Blogger melodyann said...

I agree with you. Doctors are the debil.

I think, if a doctor can't do anything for you, it should be a law that they can't charge you. I mean, if you go on a game show, and you don't know the answers, do you win any money? NO YOU DON'T...

If the Doctor can't fix our children, they should not get a cent. However, they could accept some nice parting gifts, like a box of Rice-a-Roni...

3:35 AM  
Blogger Sabrina said...

Oh I know! Had this happen so many times now with 4 kids! I hope she is on the mend soon!

12:48 PM  
Blogger katydidnot said...

also, the latest...cold medicine DOES NOT work on children under six. this is the latest from NPR. fantastic! there's now officially NOTHING to be done for the cranky, sick, unhappy, crying babies. send dave out for a six pack of grape soda and some ho-ho's, and tuck in for a long night of sick baby. good luck!

5:39 PM  
Blogger katydidnot said...

i'm worried now that i'm not remembering your guy's it dave? if not, your guy...that's who i meant.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Scribbit said...

That was me last week, Lillian was sick for 10 days with nasty fevers and viral meningitis. nearly killed me with worry.

11:11 PM  

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