Friday, March 30, 2007


I don't think it is possible to be this miserable and not be in labor yet. Contractions almost constantly leaving me writhing on the floor......then, nothing for an hour. Pain pain, mind numbing pain.

Poor sweet toddler-girl with the worst diaper rash ever, crying, needing her mama. Clings like a koala and looks like a wild animal trapped in her pain. Mama gives up and lets her go diaper free. Sweet girl pees on hardwoods, mama's slippers and self. Yowsa.

I can't believe I am going to have 2 daughters very soon. How can I have enough love for 2 when my heart bursts with love for my sweet girl? I know it will work out.

My mind is racing. I want this baby out so bad, but I am so afraid of giving birth again I rethink and maybe she can stay in forever. I think that general anesthesia would be great. I just am so afraid of the pain and needles......tearing my ladybits.......but then again, I just want to see her face.


Blogger Stephanie said...

Been there (except for the peeing on the slippers part) and know what you're going through.

It's hard to think you can love another little person as much as you love the one you have, but like you said, it works out. It's true, and it's wonderful.

Sending you easy labor prayers!

4:44 PM  
Blogger Ris said...

Hang in there! You can get through this. And if you get too overwhelmed, call a grandma! Or an aunt (hint hint).


8:16 AM  
Blogger Sabrina said...

Had to come see if you had popped yet! Don'tcha hate that last month? Ugh! Well I can't wait to hear more! Hang in there!

2:14 PM  
Blogger Kendra said...

I LOVE this post. I will be attempting a VBAC in July and already feel the same way about many things. I also have a toddler daughter who just doesn't understand that sometimes mommy needs to rest and can't climb on the playground like she used too.

Also, thank you so much for expressing your fears about not having enough love for 2. I cannot tell you how much I understand that comment. Although I know I will love my second baby just as much as my little girl, it is so hard to imagine loving ANYTHING as much as my first.

10:49 AM  
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10:15 PM  

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