Modern Mama

For the time being for another month or two. I am such a modern mama yo. I drag my tired saggy body out of bed by 6, drink coffee, shower, carefully apply MAC makeup before getting my baby out of bed to nurse. I breastfeed her, play and cuddle for exactly 30 min of quality mama time before handing her off to her father or godfather and speed off to work. At work I do reports, discipline employees, meet with clients, deal with audits and budgets and 100 emails and still have time to breastfeed again during meetings with co-workers at 10:30 a.m. when someone brings her to the office. Talk about multi-tasking! I grab a quick lunch and head home again for a quick feeding before my afternoon appointments arrive.

I haul my pathetic self back home after leaving 25 voicemails unheard. The feeding machine strikes again! When my baby detatches herself, I pack us both up and head to the gym and drop her off in childcare and work my fat ass out for an hour or so before snatching the little darling up and covering her sweet face with sweaty kisses and load her up.

By then I have to hit the Taco Bell drive thru, because, dude, a crunch wrap supreme sounds really tasty. Maybe I'll stop by my girlfriends house because I really still need some fun in my life. Feed the baby. A glass of wine and some laughs are in order.

We get home in time to nurse one more time and have daddy help bathe and put the baby to bed. I finally drop my corpse into bed. Try to have some time with my husband and finally pass out. 5 or 6 hours later it starts all over again.

Yup, I'm a modern mama indeed. This is no life for me.