Friday, July 22, 2005

A quandry

Good morning internets! As D-day approaches I am finding myself in a huge quandry. What the hell am I going to do about my job? I am supposed to go back late Sept/Oct and I am feeling horrible about it. Even though Davey and I will each be working partial weeks until 1/1 so she doesn't have to go to daycare until then, I am so stressed about leaving a tiny baby with strangers. Not to mention the cost. I figure it will cost 1/3 of my take home for daycare. We can conceivably live fine on his salary.

I am just so confused because these thoughts are SO not me. I am a career-motivated person. I like to work (just hate this particular job) I went into massive debt to get my masters degree. I hate housework. I just can't imagine leaving my babe all day and only seeing her an hour a day and on weekends. What I really need to do is find something I can do from home for a couple of years. AHHHH this is so frustrating! Damn you maternal instincts and the havoc you are bringing into my life!


Blogger Mama M said...

I completely understand. I'm a total workaholic, and I love to be involved in a million things at the same time, but I couldn't imagine leaving my son with someone else when I went back to work.

A lot of people with kids told me to wait at least three months after I went back to work to see how I felt then about the situation. It was good advice for me, since I went through a million different emotions and changed my mind about what I wanted to do about work so much during those first three months back from leave. I was able to work 3 days in the office and 2 at home. We lucked out and have a family friend who became our out-of-home nanny, but in the end, after a year back from maternity leave, I am leaving my job to do my own thing.

You'll know what is the best decision when the time comes. And your baby will be fine no matter what you decide--it's always much harder on the mama than the baby it seems!

Damn maternal instincts indeed! :)

9:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Baby_Mama wrote, "I am so stressed about leaving a tiny baby with strangers."
After finding this anti-daycare website, I can see can be scary!

5:49 PM  

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