Monday, June 16, 2008

An open letter

Dear Target,

As a longtime customer of your children's clothing section I feel an obligation to let you know that some of your stores exist outside of warm climates such as Hawaii, Florida and THE SURFACE OF THE SUN. I am bringing this to your attention to assist you in your choice of clothing to stock in your children's section during the spring and early summer months. I was surprised to find no sign of any type of garment longer than hot pants since the beginning of February. Your store is located in Oregon. We wear pants here. The collection of polar fleece in the average toddler's closet would rival that of your average Eskimo. Think tiny cocoons of unexposed flesh and you will have your average Oregonian under the age of 5. There is occasionally a time when we find a use for shorts, such as when we visit the aforementioned warm climates or when we are inside getting friendly with our heat lamps.

Another news flash for you would be is that CHILDREN GROW, asswipes. I am faced with either putting them in pants two sizes two small and listening to MY PANTS ARE TOO TIGHT MAMA, I HAVE A MELVIN at inhumane decibels or putting them in shorts with thermal tights under them. Not the look we are going for.

I never thought I would be in a situation where I was begging for an effing pair of STRETCH PANTS, but seriously, for the children. Or the Melvins. Whatever.

Sincerely,

Cold Since February.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Cindy said...

Halleulua sister - we need pants in Washington too. :)

9:57 PM  
Blogger Kandace said...

Yes, Washington is on average a frigid place to live as well...we wear pants all year long with the exception of September but Septmeber is NOT February.

Target busts out the swimsuits then too. It's insane. Then again they should be rolling out the back to school supplies in a week or two.

7:58 PM  

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