Bits

• Ruby is a pooping machine, and by pooping machine I mean to say that we have divided the day up by The Morning Shitsplosion, followed by The Midday Craptacular, The Evening Pile and the After Dinner Turdlet. Boy howdy, the kid can poop.
• I had the mullet surgically removed today. It was replaced by a haircut so short that I even thought I was a man until I had to use the bathroom and cleared up any confusion. My stylist obviously thought I was someone else because she kept insisting that this was the exact same cut I had been getting for the past year. I wonder if someone out there is walking around looking like me?
• I bought spirulina and put it in my kid's smoothies. Because I am mean. The end.
• Unfortunately I have a bad habit of giving things cutsie names and Goldie is starting to pick up on them. Today, for example, when she told me to come look at her feetsies, I got entirely the wrong idea.