Monday, June 25, 2007

Because Dick Cheney Likes Dry Pants

I have received several inquiries about the method I used for potty training and since so many people are interested in the toilet habits of my toddler, I feel obliged to share with the entire Internet, which I am sure she will be thrilled to hear about in 10 years. I'll be sure to bring it up when I meet her first boyfriend and I don't think this sentence could be any longer so I will just keep it going.

Ahem. As I mentioned in a few days ago, we used the original copy of Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Nathan Azrin. By original, I mean like 1971 where they warn that if you don't potty train you could be spending upwards of $200 annually on diapers. Jeepers. This method is not for every one. It was definitely for us.

After weeks (months?) of careful planning my mother and I settled on a date and went for it. We chatted up panties, potties and bodily functions for weeks prior. Goldie knew that something was going down. The night before I read the book several times and went to the store for supplies. I bought some special snacks (whole grain goldfish, fruitaboo, pringles and M&M's, of course) some juicy juice boxes, Elmo sippys, a potty chair, balloons, stickers and poster board for a potty chart. I sent the baby with a friend and kissed Davey goodbye as he left for work. We were all set for a regular potty party.

We started at 7:30 a.m. I woke her up with a big smile and enthusiasm for what we were going to do. We put her right into her new panties. She beamed. Immediately we started in with the drinks. After all the special stuff she could have had, she really just wanted milk so milk it was. This method involves doing a running commentary about the potty. "Mommy pees on the potty. Grandma do you pee on the potty? You do! That's great! Auntie likes to pee on the potty. Will Goldie go on the potty? You know who really likes dry pants? Baby Ruby likes dry pants. Your 3rd cousin twice removed uses the potty!" Ad nauseum.

We followed instructions fairly closely. I stuffed her full of treats like a pinata. Her little belly bulged. She peed her pants 4 times and accidentally went on the pot once. I wanted to cry. I felt like a total failure. Goldie was stressed out. She was afraid to use the potty. But she would sit on it. That evening we arrived at a crossroads.

Stay tuned for the conclusion because my eyes are starting to cross I am so sleepy.........

1 Comments:

Anonymous susan said...

A cliffhanger??? LOL

11:28 AM  

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