Things I Learned This Weekend

This past weekend was the official Girl Weekend 2009 . To ensure that I never waste a learning opportunity, I have compiled a list of lessons that were gleaned from the experience:

• I will always position myself in the center of the photo. Just try to get around me. I dare you.
  

• Carrie looks good no matter what she is wearing. The slow progression she made from Fancy Dress to Fancy Dress with Slippers to The Full College Dorm, was made seamlessly. She should look to new career in fashion. (Note to Carrie: My ex-boyfriend from 1997 would like his sweatshirt back, assuming the elastic has not become crunchy) (Note to self: Do not loan Carrie clothes.)
  

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• When properly motivated, I am able to create every underage aspiring alcoholic's dream: Sweet Sweet Booze That Does Not Taste Like Booze. Who knew that gallons of wine, orange juice, lemonade, vodka and a touch of blue curacao(for festive color!) could create such deliciousness (And nausea!) when combined in a cauldron. Bonus points for the bra hanging out of my shirt that was quickly spotted and named The Doubtfire. Am v. sexy.
  

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• I am more subject to deviant behavior in a group than I had previously believed. As a person who is extremely prone to nicotine addiction and has not smoked in years due to the desire to avoid repeating a particularly humiliating experience that involved bumming Bronco Lights off of homeless people. In a snowstorm. Hiding from my mother (and for those who must know, yes, a latex glove was involved and yes, I still smoke with the wrong fingers) Girl weekend is a different story. Cloves you say? Hmmm. Cloves are not cigarettes. Cloves are delicious! They remind me of college! (fine, high school. Fuck off.) I won't inhale! And you know what? I survived. Was great idea! Maybe I should try it again soon! Perhaps 20 or so times per day!
  

• I am gassier than I thought.
• We can certainly break it down to rap classics cerca 1992 like only priviledged white girls can.
  
• We should really do this bi-annually
• Sleeping until 11:00 a.m. after years of sleep deprivation is just as delicious as I had dreamed.

Girl Weekend by the numbers:

• # of girls=8
• Stories of high school involving mortal embarassement shared with group=867
• Persons whose preferred mode of death involves hanging and bone fracture= one
  
• Crossaints I normally consume in one year= zero
• Crossaints I consumed within 5 minutes of waking after a night with these girls=two
• # of bottles of wine consumed by 8 women in 48 hours=9
• Amount of fun spending time with these amazing women=infinity
  

Summary:

I love these girls. I loved this weekend. I love the fact that The Davey makes it so easy for me to go and have fun. I should never be allowed near a vat of dip unsupervised. Ditto for wheat thins.

Good times, my friends. Good times.