Can I back out of this whole deal?

Well, today went pretty well, aside from a shitty day at the office. Babe is kind of squirmy tonight so I think I will take a hot shower and then lay down and enjoy her for awhile. Had a great evening, went and ate a fabulous dinner and took the dog for a walk, it was such lovely weather.

I am still wrestling with my feelings about all of the changes in my life. I mean, giving up so much freedom for a person I have never met. I am lucky that I don't have to give up all of my favorite things, but this whole experience has made me realize what an incredibly selfish person I can be. I mean, I don't want to be kept up all night, for anyone. I miss staying up late and partying with my friends. I guess I just wish I were'nt the first to experience this out of my tight group of friends. They just don't really get it.

For example, one of my friends is getting married 9/3 and I am the matron of honor. She actually thinks that I am going to throw her a bachelorette party a week after I have the baby.....at a bar...and stay the night in a hotel. All I could do was say ummmm, can I umm, bring my baby you insano!? She wasn't trying to be rude, she just doesn't get it.