Friday, December 14, 2007

Stay Away

I thought it would never happen to us. I mean the kids don't even swear (much)or know how to flip us the bird (yet). We go to church (when we aren't sleeping in). We don't cut people off in traffic (er, usually) So what in the hell did we do to deserve this pestilence that is hanging over our house? I am talking about Scabies here. Fucking yuck. I thought Goldie just had a food allergy or needed new soap or something. Did I mention.....Gross?

The only thing more fun than being diagnosed with scabies is telling your daycare provider that you are infected with scabies. And doing it through an interpreter? Well let me tell you that it was at least 12 flavors of awesome.

"Um, hi non English speaker. Could we find someone to call who speaks both languages because you know those bumps on Goldie's feet that you had assumed were from some kind of exotic Croc allergy and had blamed it on my obvious incompetence because seriously? What kind of mother lets her toddler run around in Crocs in December, right? Well, ha. Funny thing, ha ha. It wasn't an allergy, I mean, I am still unfit as a parent, which is painfully obvious, but the rash? Not the Crocs."

I would write more, but there is LAUNDRY TO DO and skin to ITCH OFF. My friend came for lunch and I am surprised that she has any hair left with all of the involuntary scratching.


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