An open letter
Dear Goldie,
While I found it touching in a strange sort of way that you were emphatically chanting my name at 4 am, I truly wish you had submitted to allowing your father to change your soaking bed and clothes in a more....how do you say? Peaceful way. I was otherwise engaged at the moment rolled on my side like a sow feeding your sister. While your father indeed has an impressive set of Man Cans, he is unable to provide the same services to her that I am. Which is why is was dispatched to your room.
I am also somewhat concerned about the Underwear Situation. Being a Pseudo Aging Hippie by association to your father, I have tried my damnedest to keep those little bitches known as The Disney Princesses out of my life. I buy generic pull ups for chrissake, just to avoid them. The generics were no longer holding up for the industrial night time situation that is your penchant for peeing Niagara-like quantities whilst you slumber. I gave in and bought the brand name nighttime Pull Ups. Make-o mistake-o. You now refuse regular underwear and anything else that might cover the beloved princesses. We must work this out because not only are these princesses offensive to my sensibilities on almost every level, but those fuckers cost like a buck apiece. Um, no.
Love,
Mama
While I found it touching in a strange sort of way that you were emphatically chanting my name at 4 am, I truly wish you had submitted to allowing your father to change your soaking bed and clothes in a more....how do you say? Peaceful way. I was otherwise engaged at the moment rolled on my side like a sow feeding your sister. While your father indeed has an impressive set of Man Cans, he is unable to provide the same services to her that I am. Which is why is was dispatched to your room.
I am also somewhat concerned about the Underwear Situation. Being a Pseudo Aging Hippie by association to your father, I have tried my damnedest to keep those little bitches known as The Disney Princesses out of my life. I buy generic pull ups for chrissake, just to avoid them. The generics were no longer holding up for the industrial night time situation that is your penchant for peeing Niagara-like quantities whilst you slumber. I gave in and bought the brand name nighttime Pull Ups. Make-o mistake-o. You now refuse regular underwear and anything else that might cover the beloved princesses. We must work this out because not only are these princesses offensive to my sensibilities on almost every level, but those fuckers cost like a buck apiece. Um, no.
Love,
Mama
posted by Kirsten at
8:13 AM
1 Comments:
Can I just tell you that the joys that await me in parenthood are so beautifully laid out in your every day blog. I can only hope to be blessed with a bed full of pee and pull-ups that break the bank. Hang in there missy and just think you'll have gone through it all and will help me keep my sanity....I'm having a hard enough time with backpain, gas, constipation, nauseousness, and an ever growing wasteline...and I still have 6 monthes to go...oh the adventures of motherhood from start to finish :-)
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